Love Not Fear

What are you seeing?

Love is a way of seeing.

So often, we love only that which presents itself. If someone is kind and considerate, gentle and affectionate, it is easy to love them back. But I’m learning that true love is the kind that chooses always to see the man and women of Love’s creating, no matter what is being presented.

Often, when I am commuting to my teaching job on the Paris metro in the morning, I like to take time to look around me at all my fellow commuters. It’s so easy to notice the glum, unsmiling faces of stressed out Parisians, all wearing grey, on their daily ride to work. But I always like to take the time to allow my thinking to go further than that.

Paris metro Chinese passengers — Photo by Katchoo

Instead, I like to focus on how beautiful that person must be in the eyes of someone who loves them. I assume that there is at least one person in the life of my fellow passenger who loves them completely and utterly and how much their faces would come alive when they know that they are loved. Would I also see them differently, if I was to see them in the full realization of the knowledge that they are loved? Wouldn’t we ALL look different in this realization?

But I think it goes deeper than that. Because, of course, it’s never about another person. It’s always about our view of ourselves and others held in a broader, deeper and richer appreciation of Love, as distinct from the vagaries of human affection that comes and goes throughout our lives. No, we are to summon up a vision of ourselves as rooted and grounded in Love at all times, in all ways, irrespective of the circumstances presented. To hold fast to this can be a challenge, but always brings new ways of seeing that make us feel truly loved.

And if we can especially choose to see others in the light of that Love, digging beneath the surface, what a revolution that would be for the world!

What would it mean if we were able to look at everyone in that way?

The Summer of Love Project

So, I had been wanting to blog again but had kinda lost my mojo. A friend had recommended to me a great little e-book on 31 ways to find your blogging mojo but fear had set in. I just couldn’t seem to find the inspiration.

Then, over the last few weeks, it’s been really clear to me that I could do with a bit of an overhaul in the love department. And, by that, I mean that I wasn’t really living in accord with my stated purpose in the world, to overcome my fears through a more profound and active expression of love. I knew I needed to get a whole lot deeper in exploring this for me to move forward in many areas of my life.

Then, this week I’ve been blessed to be reminded of The Greatest Thing in the World, a wonderful exposition by Henry Drummond on that most famous treatise on Love, St Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, a favourite reading at weddings, no matter what your religious persuasion. It’s a wonderfully rich reminder of the qualities that go into the ‘prism’ of love: patience, kindness, generosity, humility, courtesy, unselfishness, good temper, guilelessness and sincerity.

So, with this remarkable essay as fuel for thought, I’m feeling lead to share with you my own journey in exploring this topic this summer, and getting back into my blogging as a way to do this!

And, as further inspiration, I’m also looking forward to embarking on my first proper summer of weddings! Having lived abroad for most of my adult life, and with many of my peers only starting to tie the knot, I’m looking forward to no less than three summer weddings: Kari and Torkel in Sweden, Jess and Dicky in Bristol and Eleanor and Nathan in Cambridge. So, I thought this might also be a perfect opportunity to get deeper in my thinking about what this whole love thing is really about.

Summer of Love Project 2 — Photo attributed to matley0 Marco Abis

Of course, romantic love is but one expression of Love with a capital L, and I look forward to blogging about all forms of it’s expression, but it’s a great starting point, I think, and I’m excited to share and witness my friends embarking on the exciting adventures in love that marriage provides.

So, with the larger theme of this blog in mind, of overcoming fear through Love, please join me in my ‘Summer of Love’ blogging by sharing your own insights and inspirations too!

Love, Caroline xxx

I see things differently now

The veil has lifted

The fog has cleared

The view of myself now clear

Simplicity, Truth

A vision of the future

I see things differently now

There was a time

A time before

Confusion was my master

Fears dragged me down

Unsure

Unsafe

And never brought me through

But now it’s clear

The reason why

My history but a dream

I find myself

Secure and free

Walking along the shore

The tide is out

The salt air fresh

Horizons stretching far

It is Love’s wish

That I am free

I know this truth right now

L’Amour et rien d’autre *

Love, and nothing else

That’s all that’s left here now

The fear has gone

The shadows fled

There’s nothing left of ‘me’

All self surrendered

Anxiety set free

I count my blessings as the sun has set

And wake to the dawn of a new day

Love, and nothing else

There’s nothing else here now

It is not mine

But His alone

That’s all that’s left here now.

* With thanks for the inspiration of this title from a new movie out in France this week.

I see you

Not as others see you

But you

Totally you

You as you really are

I see you

Not as an assortment of personality, characteristics and traits

But you as the expression of the divine

Evidence of the true idea, shining into my life

I see you

Not the fears, the doubts, the worries, the ‘what ifs’,

But you as the purity of all that is possible within me too

I see you

When I look you in the eye

And see those ‘images of winter’*

The fear that has closed your heart for far too long

I see you

The promise of spring and summer still to come

When the ice begins to melt

And you break through to the surface

To come up for air

I see you

Dancing over the ice caps that kept you hostage for so long

Now, swimming, soaring, flying through the water

The coldness of yesterday dissolving into the deep

I see you

Now

As you have always been

I see you

*with thanks to Hafiz

The Christmas Story

I’ve been thinking about Mary and Joseph a lot recently. Especially Joseph who doesn’t always get that much press in the Christmas story but who, I’m reflecting, had a critical role to play in the events that unfolded.

In thinking about Mary, I’ve been reflecting on the quality of her receptivity to the inspiration that came through the angel message. Here she was, a young, unmarried woman of no particular importance who was told she was to be the custodian of the birth of a very special baby. It is inspiring for me how ready she was to take on this very important role. She was not afraid, nor did she doubt that what she had been told would come true and that she would be taken care of in the process. She calmly and humbly accepted what she had been told and continued to listen for the next steps to take, in following through with the task with which she had been entrusted.

No less important was Joseph’s role in the unfolding events. He too, had been listening to his angels, being led to take Mary for his wife. At this time, it would have been scandalous to take on a wife who was already pregnant and doubtless he was concerned for his reputation, as well as his ability to properly care for Mary at this time of her great need. So much would need to be taken care of – the need to pay taxes, to find appropriate shelter for Mary and the new baby, and the development of his new role as a husband and father. Yet, despite these fears, he was also able to be receptive to the spiritual inspiration and rise to the challenge to give Mary the support she needed to birth this new idea.

I’ve been reflecting on this story in relation to my own life, and in the lives of friends and family. None of us are, of course, entrusted with a task as significant as the one that Mary and Joseph faced yet we are all, in our own ways, called upon to exhibit those same qualities of trust, receptivity and the ability to move forward in continual listening for the next steps in the birth of new ideas.

Recently, I’ve been faced with needing to follow through on inspiration I’ve been receiving in many areas of my life. Doubt and fear have often reared their heads and it’s been tempting to try to take control of the situation, trying too hard to do things my way, instead of humbly allowing the inspiration I’ve received to unfold in it’s own way, and in it’s own time. Yet, I know from past experience that it is only when I relinquish control over something that the steps needed to move forward unfold effortlessly in ways I could not possibly have outlined or imagined myself.

I’m also learning something else in this reflection on Mary and Joseph, especially in terms of Joseph’s role.

Sometimes it seems that the unfoldment of a particular idea or inspiration is dependent not only on my own co-operation, but also on the support and collaboration of others. Whether that comes in the form of a friend, a boss or employee, a landlord or estate agent, or a family member or partner. We often need the support of others to move forward with something, just like Mary did with Joseph. I’m learning that humility also calls for a childlike trust that those affected by or included in the steps we have been inspired by are also, themselves, listening to their angels and can be guided to do what is necessary to support that idea.

Whether you are also waiting to give birth to a new idea, whether it is a baby, a new company, the creation of a new home, a new travel adventure or the beginning of a new relationship, we can all trust that everyone involved has the receptivity to their own angels, the confidence to move forward with the steps they have been inspired to take……and that we are all able to work together to write our collective ‘Christmas story’.

With love and best wishes for a Merry Christmas and an inspiring, joy-filled new year,

Caroline

Courage

To have the courage when you don’t have all the answers to the questions.

To love when you don’t know how it’s going to end.

To be in the quiet space of knowing and not knowing.

To float sublimely in the simplicity of your being.

To know the freedom of so much tenderness.

The strength and vulnerability of letting go.

To know the quiet longing of an earnest heart.

To rise above when all else pulls you down.

To listen when other voices clamour for attention

To silence the heart when its beats drown out the sound of your own tears.

I rest in the peace that comes when love has gained the victory.

Thinking big

Well, here it is. For ages, I’ve been inspired to write a blog but was too frightened to take that first step. I was worried that I wouldn’t communicate well enough, that what I might have to say would come over in the wrong way and I might be misunderstood. I’ve been pretty frightened about lots of things in my life. Frightened to travel on my own, frightened to speak up about a vision I have, and even, too often, frightened to fall in love.

Yesterday, a friend of mine, Tariq, posted an article about 5 things to know before dating an entrepreneur. You can read the article here:

http://tech.li/2011/11/5-things-to-know-before-dating-a-tech-entrepreneur/

It seemed to me a pertinent theme in my life and made me reflect on times in my life when men I have dated have said that my ideas were ‘too big’, that they were worried that my expansive vision would be a threat to our relationship. I think this is something that, specifically, many women entrepreneurs might be able to relate to. So, this morning, I felt inspired to respond to that article in a way that helped me to express my own journey on that one and why I think there is always another view (see previous blog post, Ten reasons to date an enterpreneur).

As soon as I posted my blog, a friend Skyped me to ask whether this was an advertisement for why someone should date me! I laughed, and immediately thought I should unpost, for fear that I should be misunderstood. Ah, there’s that fear thing again. She countered her comments by saying that a relationship she had been hoping for had just broken up. She felt that she had done all she could to keep the relationship alive and that not everyone wants to live a ‘big’ life, that we shouldn’t try to live beyond what we are capable of and that life should be a balance of what you want and what you are able to do.

My fear said unpost: the earlier post would look arrogant and self-promoting. But the motivation for it had seemed right. And, right at that moment, I got another message in my inbox from a friend, saying how much she had loved the post.

So, I guess, I can only be authentic in sharing something I felt inspired to write this morning.

Everyone does have their own journey, it’s true, and we can not pass judgment on someone else’s decisions. But I do think there is always another way of looking at things.

When faced with a choice, that seems to boil down to an either/or situation, how much better would it be if we could surrender to a higher view of the person, the problem or the divergent paths that seem to be asking for a decision? How could we ask ourselves what it means to ‘think bigger’? To bring the clarity of love, wisdom and spiritual sense to help us to see what the situation is really calling for. How could we draw up from within ourselves the ability to do just that? To not think that to ‘think bigger’ is a choice that some make and that others don’t, but that we ALL have access, to the vision, integrity and capacity for love that is the present reality of who we all really are?

So, Tara, this blog post is for you. I don’t know what the future of your relationship holds but I do know that you are being asked right at this moment, to expand your view of what love means. As I have been asked myself also, and as we are all asked. And I know that you have just as much access to, and ability to continue in that glorious, wonderful, occasionally frightening but always humbling and liberating journey of love…..entrepreneur or not!

With love, Caroline

PS And thank you for helping me not to be frightened to post, but to be authentic in communicating what I believe to be true.

Ten reasons to date an entrepreneur

1 – Their sense of possibility. To date someone who accepts no limitations means that there is no end to how much they are capable of loving you.

2 – They see things in ways that others don’t and understand the power of thought and faith to offer an entirely fresh and inspiring view of a challenging situation.

3 – They know the true meaning of commitment and persistence to an idea – a love – far bigger than themselves.

4 – They attract and draw into their world new people, experiences and opportunities that make every day of being with them a continual adventure.

5 – Their vision for the world extends to a vision of long-term relationships and family life no less important than their cause, but as equal to and intrinsic to working together to contribute to the betterment of humanity.

6 – They have seen failure and know that it is never what defines a man or a woman. It is their ability to get back up, with integrity, humility and service to a higher cause that builds the character and loyalty necessary for life-long commitment.

7 – They are passionate souls with tonnes of energy and a great love and lust for life…..and we know how important that is for the more, erm, intimate areas of a relationship…..!

8 – They know the value of partnership in getting things done, the power of teamwork necessary to build something of mutual value.

9 – They know how sometimes you just have to hang in there, work really hard and keep trusting the original love for the vision/person and what drew you to it/them in the first place……and it will turn out with way more blessings than you can imagine.

10 – They are visionaries who understand the power of love over fear.