Does fear get us closer to love?


I had lunch with a friend today who, when I told him the title of my blog and my interest in love and fear, shared with me that, when he was falling in love with his now-wife, a good friend of his suggested that this relationship might last because she scared him.

This fascinated me.

It made me reflect on the close relationship between love and fear.  Instead of seeing them as polar opposites, were they, in fact, closely related?

Photo credit ky0ko0 Irene Zaccari

Why do we call it ‘falling in love’?  Everything is in free-fall and we are suddenly more aware of our vulnerability, our nakedness and how much we have to lose.  But isn’t it precisely at this point that we also glimpse the beauty of what it means to let go into Love?  The exquisite freedom that comes with surrendering to something higher than ourselves.  Doesn’t that revealing strip us of all our previously-held certainties about things?  Doesn’t it challenge us to develop the humility, authenticity and clarity of who we really are when we let go of the ego and reveal our true beauty?

Perhaps that, then, is fears true purpose, whether it’s in romantic relationships or in any area of life.   To lead us to higher and deeper views of who we are and our potential for growth and progress.  To help us see the unreality of fear in having any hold on us if love is the underlying force that holds more power when we are tempted to believe in anything else.

We begin to realize that it is not our job to protect, own, nor control or act from fear.  But to allow Love to work it’s magic on us, to transform our world and enable us to be all that we were created to be.

We have only to let go and ‘fall’… allow Love, Divine Love, to catch us.

‘Catch the fall’ by dolcedo

Published by Caroline Watson

Founder of Hua Dan, a China-based social enterprise that uses the power of participation in theatre as a tool for personal and social transformation. Young Global Leader 2011 of the World Economic Forum. Writer, speaker and entrepreneur.

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